Overcoming Burnout - Career Tips
What do I wish I knew when started my career?
Women I am speaking to you today!
I am sitting in the warm and cozy office of my home in the foothills of a rural valley in NSW, Australia. Soft light dappling through my stained glass windows depicting Australian native flowers, the sound of rain tinkling on the roof, my hot lemon and ginger tea with ample local honey added steeping in front of me. I look around and I smile. It’s a smile of calm contentment, an all is well smile that lingers on my lips. I’m actually beginning to live my dream I envisioned all those years ago – early on in my career.
It all seems a little surreal and strange, particularly because over the last few hours I have spent time on zoom and on the phone coaching professional women – CEO’s of not for profits, government team leaders and a technical specialist looking to advance her career. All of them amazing, talented women. All of them frustrated and overwhelmed, and some of them on the brink of tears.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I’ve been getting interviews and they go well but I just can’t seem to land that next higher position.”
“I feel like I am doing all the things but none of them are working anymore.”
“I feel so stupid. I’m smart, I have degrees. Why didn’t I see this coming?”
Each of them has so much talent and potential. Each of them suffering a similar ailment – imposter syndrome, a feeling of not got enough and a belief they need to push harder and faster to gain recognition, respect and reward.
I get it, I’ve felt it too. I had such a strong vision of how I wanted to live a life of servant leadership. To build a great culture and team, to impact community and to be of service the way I was meant to do. I wanted to be the leader, to blaze the trail, to scale the ladder and to be a powerful, positive influence.
And then one day a mentor said to me “Why the rush? Why the push? Where are you going in such a hurry?”
At first I didn’t get it. It took a few years actually to really land home. It took adrenal fatigue, no female hormones, relationship strain, greying, thinning hair and pre-diabetes diagnosis to tell me I had a problem.
What do I wish I knew when started my career?
To value the process, to honour myself and my personal experience. To do the inner work to build my own confidence, competence and credibility with myself first.
I had to learn to let go of chasing, of rescuing, of saving the world or changing the world and instead I had to come home, go within, strengthen my foundations and know thyself most first. The beauty of writing this article is that I get to live it twice. As I write about this memory, I am reliving the truth of that moment I realised I am and always have been enough and that all along my body was trying to protect, support and guide me and to allow me to integrate the uplevels, the expansion and the growth process without causing harm.
I had just barrelled right over the top of that thinking I knew what I was doing when clearly I did not. So I dug in, and I began to become the observer. I began to see that in my chasing an invisible career dream I was actually caught in a pattern of putting myself second and was actually repelling what I was most wanting. All my pushing and work, work, work energy was making it harder to work with me, frying my energy and pushing away what I desired most – ease and flow.
I began a process of being coached (once I relaxed into being coachable), I softened my perfectionism and long held, long hours work ethic. I took up yoga and meditation (giving up pounding the treadmill daily was the hardest!) and I slowly, gently adjusted my goals, my intentions and began aligning all my energies.
I repeat, what do I wish I knew when I started my career? There are many lessons but here are a few standouts:
👉there will be ups and downs along the way, that’s normal;
👉we will experience excitement and wins as well as mundane boring days, both are good;
👉every conversation we have shapes us and grows us and shapes the other people and the culture we are in, , baby steps are fine;
👉when you are constantly rushing and chasing you miss the best bits in the moment, eat the cake with your team;
👉learn from mentors, guides, elders, they aren’t kidding when they say they have seen it all before;
👉your network are invaluable, invest, honour and respect the people you know; they are an irreplaceable part of your leadership tribe;
👉knowledge and skillsets are fully transferable and can be gained through many avenues; spiritual exploration and personal development are as valuable as the MBA;
👉confidence shows up on the other side of trying, not before, big girl pants required;
👉be grateful for each and everyone who is on the path alongside you, above you, below you, they are all just dear little humans trying to navigate life as well;
👉imposter syndrome is actually a byproduct of your expansion because your subconscious wants to keep you safe, learn to observe yourself, growth always comes on the other side of your comfort zone;
👉whoa – possibly the toughest but most profound - believe in yourself. Your career success is 20% tactical strategy but 80% mindset and energy, believe in you!
Love to hear your experience if you shared a similar journey.
What would you have wished to know before you started your career? Share in the comments below.
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PS If you are more of an auditory person and you don’t want to read this entire article I have recorded it as a video for you here What do you wish you knew when you started your career? Recovering from Adrenal Fatigue. (youtube.com).